Tomorrow Brings Sorrow Page 9

  ‘Sorry, Rita. I’m just excited, and it keeps making me want to pee. I ain’t never been to no wedding before.’

  ‘Well, you ain’t going to this one, either. Not to the church do and breakfast – not official, anyway. But I’ve a plan. We’re meeting up with them four girls from over at that stud farm. They’re coming over to Breckton to see the service, but they’re free after that until the party later. So we’re all going to have a cup of Rosie Lee and a chinwag in that tea room.’

  ‘But we’re invited to the party later, ain’t we? A lot of the servants are going.’

  ‘Well, that’s because they know the family, you daft cow. Anyway, it ain’t official, but we might get in. Come on, let’s have a look at you.’

  The transformation in Penny was hard to believe. Her dark hair now shone. It fell into natural curls, and looked lovely with a side parting and clipped back. Her spots had all cleared up, and her eyes . . . well, that’s where the biggest change had taken place. No longer crusted, they had widened out and were a lovely velvety blue. She had a pretty face and a good figure.

  ‘You could catch any bloke’s eye now, Pen, but keep your maulers off his Lordship. He’s mine. He’s been sniffing around again. Came into the barn earlier, but that sister of his called him out. Queer, the relationship between them – have you noticed?’

  ‘No, can’t say I have. Anyway, can we go now? I can’t wait any longer. We ain’t hardly moved from here for weeks. Though how you arranged where to meet them girls beats me.’

  ‘I sent word. The minute I heard of the wedding in the family they work for, and that it were going to be over in this town, I took care of things, so me and you could get a look-in. Like I said, I’m reckoning on them helping us. We all got on well on our journey up here.’

  ‘’Cept that posh one. She were quiet. I think she realized what she’d let herself in for when she met us. I reckon as she should have done some other kind of war work.’

  ‘Well, we’ll see. P’raps she’s found her feet now. Give her a chance. At least she’s giving something a go. Not many toffs are. Come on, we’re going to be late.’

  Rita couldn’t contain herself as they left the room, and she did a little hop, skip and jump at the pleasure of finally having the prospect of some light relief. It’s all going to be bleedin’ lovely and, with a bit of luck, His High-and-Mightiness will be there. I could do with a repeat performance.

  12

  Megan

  Doubts Creep In

  ‘Are you ready, Megan, love?’

  ‘Yes, Jack. I’m as ready as I can be.’

  ‘You look reet bonny, lass. By, that navy costume were best you could pick, and putting it with that green blouse . . . well, you look a reet picture.’

  The making up of the outfit she’d designed for herself she’d left to Phyllis. Whenever she did this, Phyllis would choose something to contrast with green. ‘It goes with your hair, lass,’ she’d say. ‘Eeh, I love the colour of your hair. I had mine dyed red just like it once, remember?’ Megan had, and she’d hoped it hadn’t been just like hers, as the resulting orangey colour that Phyllis had ended up with had attracted many a smirk when she wasn’t looking.

  Checking back in the mirror, Megan had to admit the suit was beautiful: a calf-length, pencil-slim skirt, fitted jacket with a wide collar and padded shoulders and flaring out from the waist. And with the soft-green silk blouse under it, it looked very chic. Just right for a wedding – any wedding, but something in her wished with all her heart it wasn’t Sarah and Billy’s wedding that she was wearing it for.

  ‘Hey, what’s that look all about? It’s meant to be a happy day. Come on, me little lass.’

  She went willingly into Jack’s open arms. The warmth there encased her in his love for her. The way he snuggled her to him stirred the memory of their love-making the night before.

  Fraught with worry over all that had happened, and what her mind suggested might happen, she hadn’t been able to relax at first. But, as always, Jack had helped her, and she’d found herself feeling more passionate than she’d been for a long time. Together they had ridden the heights they were used to reaching, and the experience had left her fragmented.

  ‘Eeh, I love you, Megan, thou knows. I love you with all that I am. Nothing will hurt you again, love. It’s all behind us.’

  ‘Is it, though, Jack? Will everything be reet?’

  His answer told her that he’d misread her concern for Sarah’s future, and thought she was referring to the awful night of the welcome-home dinner for Billy. ‘It will, lass. Billy apologized to Richard, and to us all. Richard understood and accepted the apology, you know that. He could see that it must have looked bad to Billy, him holding Sarah and calling her “darling”. And, like we said, Billy ain’t used to these posh sorts. He don’t realize as they use words like that to each other all the time. He understands now, so that’s that.’

  ‘But Sarah still looks so fragile.’ Megan didn’t tell him it was the result of a miscarriage. Only she, Hattie and Issy knew that. Everyone else thought Sarah had succumbed to a sickness bug. Megan had to explain the blood; it had started leaking from the poor lass as they’d carried her out of the room, so she’d told her mam and Jack it were just a very heavy monthly bleed. She’d have said more, if Sarah had allowed her to, but the lass hadn’t wanted anyone to know that she’d allowed Billy to have her before they were wed. You couldn’t blame her. Folk looked down on anyone as didn’t wait.

  Jack’s reply told her that he didn’t suspect any different from what he’d been told. ‘She’s bound to, love. She were reet poorly, and it’s only been four weeks since.’

  ‘I know. It seems so soon for her to go through with the wedding, but what choice is there? If they wait until Billy has his next leave, which Billy is adamant he won’t do, they wouldn’t have any time together. At least, by marrying now, they know they have two weeks before he has to report.’

  ‘Well then, you have all the reasons why it’s going ahead. Everybody and everything is ready for it, so come on, let’s make it the best day we can for them, eh? I’ve a big job to do today. I’ve to give away me little lass in marriage, and that ain’t easy for me, so I could do with you cheering up. And if you don’t put a smile on your face, I might just have to take your knic—’

  ‘Eeh, Jack, lad, you’ll do no such thing! By, there were no carrying on like that when I were a lass. Now get out, while Megan helps me into me frock, or I’ll have to go to the wedding in me housecoat!’

  They both laughed at this intrusion from Issy. It sometimes annoyed Megan how Issy went around the house with no thought for what folk might be doing, but mostly she didn’t mind. Issy were like a mam to her, and had been since she were a lass of thirteen. Even though she’d since found her own mam, the feeling she had for this wonderful stalwart of a woman hadn’t diminished. Having no time to scold her for the umpteenth time for barging into their bedroom, Megan just took the gown, shooed Jack out and got on with sliding the dress over Issy’s head. With this achieved, she stood back. ‘By, you look grand, Issy, love.’

  ‘Not me usual fat lump, then?’

  ‘Don’t be daft. That’s not how you feel, is it, love?’

  ‘Naw, not in this frock anyroad. By, it’s lovely. Ta, lass. You did me proud.’

  Issy held her arms aloft and twirled around. The skirt of the royal-blue and white frock flared out at the hem. The style of the fitted top and mermaid-shaped skirt really did slim her, and she looked younger. Beautiful. An overwhelming love for her seized Megan. She opened her arms. Issy came to her with a look that held relief. ‘Megan, love, I – I haven’t said owt about what happened and about me ranting on.’

  ‘Don’t mention it, Issy. It were the heat of the moment.’

  ‘I have to. I have to say as I’m sorry. Thou’s reet in saying it were the heat of the moment, but I said some terrible things. It were like all me pent-up feelings were released, and I have to say I feel better for it. Ma
ybe I should have done it when it happened, but it’s out now. I’ve said sorry to the lad and explained, and he seemed to understand. He were very good, and now I want to say sorry to you. No mam should hear someone going on like that about her son.’

  Megan hugged her close, releasing her before her emotions got the better of her. ‘Right, let’s get you into your jacket and sit your hat on your head.’

  The flared royal-blue jacket completed the picture. Issy looked lovely, with her grey curls forming a halo around the brim of her hat. ‘Eeh, love, I can see Cissy in you. She’ll be there with us, Issy, thou knows that, but you have to be as if you are her, for Sarah’s sake. Take the lead in everything, just like you were the bride’s mam, eh? It’s your rightful place, love.’

  Issy wiped her eye once more. ‘Ta, lass. It’s good of you to give me this honour, which by rights should be yours, you being her stepmam. Seeing to Sarah, as Cissy would have, will help me – help us both, as it happens. Especially as she’s going to be wed in the same church as Cissy were to Jack, and me to my Tom. And you – well, there’ll be memories for you there an’ all, and not all of them good. Not to mention that we pass by the graves of my Tom, Cissy and little Bella.’

  ‘I know, love – it’s a big day for you. Put them shoulders of yours back and get that lovely smile on your face, eh?’

  ‘I will, lass, I will.’

  ‘And that other . . . Well, you’re to think no more of it. I know how it’s been for you. Now, off you go. Check as Sarah and Sally are all ready, and have their bouquets and gloves and everything. Oh, just a minute. Here, I haven’t heard mention of the “something borrowed, something blue”, so give Sarah this hanky to tuck into the ribbon holding her flowers. I made it for her. Look, I’ve embroidered a blue daisy in the corner, and feather-stitched the edge near the lace in the same silk an’ all. I used the remains of the silk thread I had left over from a skein that I once prettied up a plain blouse for Cissy with.’

  ‘Eeh, it’s grand, and I remember that blouse.’ Another tear had to be wiped away, but it was done in one quick action and the smile was back as Issy’s old shoulders straightened. ‘Anyroad, the “borrowed” is them pearls from Hattie – them as that Arthur bought for her. By, lass, everything brings back sommat to think on, don’t it? Right, let’s not start. Keep it all on a happy note, eh? See you at the church, love.’

  As she walked outside to get into the car, Megan shivered. Even though the sun was high in the sky, it held no warmth, and remnants of the winter frost still glistened here and there. She was glad she’d made a shawl for Sarah; it would give her some protection from the cold.

  Her heart ached every time she looked at her beloved, frail stepdaughter. It seemed to her that history was repeating itself. She hadn’t been fooled by the explanation given for Richard’s term of endearment. The tone of it, as it had echoed around the room, had held a deep love. It was a love of the kind she wanted for Sarah – not the possessive love Billy had for her, as if he owned her. His actions were so like his dad’s at times. Oh God. But then Sarah insisted that this was what she wanted. Even so, that didn’t stop Megan feeling as if they were leading the poor mite to the slaughterhouse.

  As the car swept down the drive past the stables, she saw Dorothy and Iris, two of their Land Girls. Four had arrived last week and were settling in well. Jack had converted the top half of the barn into a flat for them. It looked grand, and was something he’d talked of doing for Sarah and Billy, but in the end they’d decided to take the only cottage on the estate. It hadn’t been lived in for a while, but was in good condition, and it hadn’t taken much to get it right for them. It nestled in the only part of their land that wasn’t flat: a small valley on the east side, about a mile from the main house. Sarah had fallen in love with it as soon as she’d seen it and had spent many hours playing there when she was younger.

  Dorothy looked up and waved. She and Iris loved to work with the horses. The gesture compounded the good news that Jack would be able to keep the horses. It’d been grand to hear Lord Crompton confirm this in the meeting they’d had with him, and to know that his bank would also back her in her new project.

  Iris also looked up and gave a more frantic wave. The lass were only eighteen, love her heart. It were young to leave home, but Dorothy had taken Iris under her wing. She were a lovely lass, Dorothy. Though she looked nothing like Cissy – who were what you’d term pretty as a picture, and dainty with it – Dorothy’s ways brought her to mind. She had an easy nature, laughing a lot and always having something to say at the right moment. She and Iris were learning all about the stables and looking after the horses. ‘It’s like they were born to it,’ Gary had said. Oh God, it’s hard to believe as Gary has to report for training on the same day as Billy. But she wouldn’t think of that. He and Jenny had been looking forward to today. They were treating it as a last good day together before he left.

  Passing the bottom fields, Megan saw Mildred and Louise, the other two Land Girls, hard at work. One drove the tractor and the other had a pitchfork in her hand. It seemed strange to see young women doing such work, especially that Louise – a lass who spoke like she had a plum in her mouth, well educated and from an upper-class family. You’d think she would turn her nose up at it all, but no, she was as willing as the rest of them. She loved to train the horses and was a good rider, but she was happy to let the others do the stable work. As it happened, all four girls were turning out to be a real help, and easy lassies to get on with, even though they came from down south. Funny, that: northern folk never had a good word for southerners, and she’d not looked forward to these London girls coming to the farm.

  Ranging in age from the youngster, Iris, to Mildred and Louise in their early to mid-twenties, and Dorothy, a widow of thirty-five-ish, they were a mixed bunch. It were good to think they were all coming to the party after the wedding breakfast.

  Oh God, the wedding breakfast. How would they all get through it?

  Shaking this thought away, Megan called out to the girls. ‘Leave what you’re doing now. Jack gave you the afternoon off. If you hurry, you’ll have time to get to the church to see Sarah.’

  ‘Thank you, Mrs Fellam. I’ll tell the others. We’re all so excited and have our clothes out all ready.’

  Megan smiled as the girls dropped their tools and ran back to the barn. They’d have plenty of time, as Jack and Sarah hadn’t left yet.

  This distraction cheered her. Everything would be all right, she told herself. She was just being silly. Sarah wanted to marry Billy. Billy wanted to marry Sarah. The picture of Cissy – invoked by Dorothy reminding Megan of her – conjured up Cissy again. How lovely if she could have been here for her daughter’s wedding. Eeh, Cissy, lass, help Sarah. Look after her. Me heart won’t lighten about her marriage to me son. I pray she’s doing the right thing. I pray she’s not walking into what I went through with Billy’s dad. A desperate tear plopped onto Megan’s cheek. She wiped it away. There was nothing she could do and, as always, she just had to get on with things as they were.

  13

  Richard & Hattie

  Avoiding Heartache

  Richard paced up and down the corridor, his body at odds with his mind. He had to find a way of living with what was happening today. Thank God he had got out of attending the wedding. Sarah wouldn’t know he wasn’t there until she reached the church. He’d left it until the last moment to ring his mother and tell her the lie he’d conjured up: ‘Stuck in Glasgow, sorry. Training schedules altered. Nothing I can do about it. Have to go. Give Sarah and Billy my best wishes, and my apologies to Megan and Jack. Hope I don’t upset the seating plan or anything. I’ll ring Lucinda. She may go with you anyway. I’ll see what she says.’

  Lucinda had chosen not to go, thank God. Somehow he hadn’t wanted her there, with or without him. Oh, Sarah, why? Why? He was certain he’d read reciprocation for his feelings in her eyes.

  ‘Lieutenant Chesterton, are you not meant to be in a lecture?
Don’t think for a minute ye know it all, lad. Clever or not, ye’ve a lot to learn, I’m telling ye. So look smart, or ye could find yourself cleaning the car park with a toothbrush.’

  Richard jumped to attention, faced the huge Glaswegian professor who was now an officer involved in their training, and saluted. ‘Good morning, sir. No, I’m on a twenty-four-hour pass. Supposed to be at a family wedding, but . . . well, things are complicated.’

  ‘In that case, you’d do well to use the time productively. Join my lecture. I can promise you it won’t send you to sleep, nor will you forget the fascinating facts I will tell you. Och, twenty-four-hour pass – they’re making babies of ye! This is war, man. All that stuff has to go out of the window.’

  ‘Sir!’ Clipping his feet together as he once again executed a smart salute, Richard marvelled at how quickly he’d got used to deferring to another. Not that it came as any difficulty with this man. He greatly admired the professor in aeronautics, who’d been heavily decorated for his contribution in the Great War and had come out of retirement to train recruits in aircraft dynamics. Far from nodding off in his lectures, Richard had found them fascinating and could see the value of them. Knowing how your aircraft works and what it would stand up to was, in his opinion, going to be invaluable. Besides, it would take his mind off everything. Once again he found himself asking: Why? Why did Sarah have to carry out a promise that she’d made as a girl? She was about to tie herself to that bloody bully, and there was nothing he could do about it. How he was going to live without her, he didn’t know.

  ‘I see the medal that you arrived with has now cleared up.’ The general indicated Richard’s eye. ‘Good, it bodes well that you are a fighting man, Lieutenant. The country needs such men. Come along.’